Comparison Goes Nowhere

Have there ever been days when you’ve wished you’ve had someone else’s job? Either on your team, or in your company, or a completely different job altogether? If you haven’t, are you sure you are human?

Since the beginning of time, human nature has been fraught with jealousy. It is so engrained, the Bible issues a command, “You shall not covet…anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17 (NIV). Exodus gives a few more examples in what not to covet. No, ‘your neighbor’s job’ is not in there specifically, but it’s a valid interpretation.

 Some things never change over the course of time. If we weren’t happy to begin with, media reminds us that other things outside of ourselves will make us happy. In today’s era, we are bombarded with messages that imply "what you have is not good enough….you need more, more, more!"

In contrast to media’s messages, Pastor Andy Stanley said in his message, “There’s no win in comparison.” This rings true loud and clear in my life. If I compare myself, my job, my relationships, or any other parts of my life to others, I am going to fall into a deep hole of greed or depression.

How does this relate to job satisfaction? When times get tough, is so easy to want a different task, serve in a different position, or work for a different person. I’ve been there. Dwelling on the frustrations got me nowhere. I had to remind myself that I am in this position for a reason, and others have their jobs for their own reasons.

When I get flighty thoughts of ‘the grass is greener on the other side’, I need to ground myself in reality.

• I write a gratitude list for the reasons I’m grateful for my job and task at hand. 
• I recognize the gifts of others that got them the position they have.
• I look at the skills that I am missing in order to accomplish the job I want to do.
• I ask my manager if I can assist my co-worker in a task I’m interested in doing. 
• I evaluate my job description and discuss with my manager my options based on my skills, interests and the company’s needs.

These constructive actions have taken me in a healthy direction. I need to make positive choices to dig myself out of negative thinking.

When you find yourself playing the comparison game, personally or professionally, recognize what you are doing and stop. Re-direct those thoughts by taking positive action.

Good Practice:
1. Write down reasons you are grateful for your job or task.
2. Write down your skills and see how they apply to different tasks.
3. Ask your manager for a meeting to receive feedback on your role, and possible tasks you can take on in your position.

Shifting Perspectives

In my last blog, I mentioned that our perspectives shape our attitudes. How can I change my perspective on things that seem so obviously terrible and hopeless? The best way to change my perspective is to shift my frame of reference and see things through a different lens. Like a photographer wanting to get the best shot, we can change our lens or distance from the situation.

Was I born with my lens, or did I come by it naturally through years of experience? Does the fact I’m a middle child determine how I act and react to people around me? Do my parents influence my way of thinking? Does my education or social class give a sense of entitlement? Most likely ‘yes’ to all of the above.

For the longest time, when I was given a task that was too easy for me, or excessively repetitive, I would react with disdain and resentment. Hoards of negative thoughts would flood my mind, and it was easy to blame others for my inconvenience. I held most of my thoughts inside, but I know they leaked out in different ways.

Then  a mentor  encouraged me to shift my frame of thinking. My job is to accept people, places and things exactly as they are, and see how I can change myself. It isn’t easy, and doesn’t come naturally. At the same time, it is the only thing that I can truly change.

My perspective of, “I’m too good for copying, pasting and transposing data onto spreadsheets,” needed to change. I thought about the greater good I’m working for, the missions and values of my organization, the fact I’m here to serve and am truly lucky to have a job.

As I consistently thought about the holistic nature of my task, I was able to shift my perspective. Shifting to a ‘greater good’ perspective allowed me to shape my attitude into a positive and productive work-mode.

It’s simple, but not easy. It takes practice, willingness and determination to shift age-old perspectives. Give it a try, it can only make things better.

Good Practice
1. Write down a recent situation when you had a negative attitude about a task. What was going on? Why didn’t you like what was happening?
2. Write down a situation that happened at least 10 years ago when you didn’t like having to do something.
3. Do you notice any patterns with your thoughts and attitudes about both situations?
4. What experiences in your life have shaped your thoughts, perspectives and attitudes?
5. What actions can you take to shift your perspectives?